Langley’s Culty Clubs

List of Clubs/Organizations/Sports Teams at Langley that most closely resemble cults


MUN kids at a conference two years ago

Sarah Champness, Reporter

At a school like Langley with a broad range of students who are interested in many different things, it is no surprise that students have found their place in their respective clubs. However, because of this reason, some of these clubs can come off as ritualistic and “cult-y.” Below is a ranked list of Langley “clubs” that could fall under this category. *Disclaimer* This list is not meant to offend anyone. It is merely poking fun at the infrastructure of the Langley student body. Enjoy.

  1. Journalism

Of course I had to kick off this list with the club that provided you with this wonderful display. You can catch any one of us in the hallways talking about what story we are working on or what page we are designing. We also love to stay until ten at night to “complete” The Saxon Scope or to maybe worship the devil. Who knows?

  1. Lacrosse

This list wouldn’t be complete without a sports team. If you’re on either the boys or girls lacrosse team, then you’re going to want to people to know, shown through the enormous amount of spirit gear worn. You can spot a lacrosse player either by their poorly shaven buzz-cuts for initiation or even by yelling out “unfinished business,” and seeing who turns around.

“Lacrosse could be classified as a cult. Our history would point to yes because we are extremely tight-knit and have long-standing traditions,” stated Boys Lacrosse Player Ben Johnson.

  1. Science Olympiad

Being on science Olympiad no doubt an accomplishment, shown through their numerous shirts from all of their competitions. You can tell these Olympiads are a tight bunch.

  1. Golf

You cannot talk about your team’s accomplishments without a golfer interjecting with “but we won states back to back.” They always love to hang out together, and love to talk about whatever you do when you play golf.

  1. Band

If you didn’t know, on Tuesdays and Thursdays marching band practices and they need the parking lot. People in band always love to hang out with each other and make music together or something along those lines.

  1. Theater

When a play or musical is coming up, you can catch any of the theater kids hanging out trying to publicize. Obviously, theater kids can be assumed to be theatric, so one can also assume that some sort of theatrical rituals take place.

  1. Younglife

Although not specifically associated with Langley, Younglife is a prime example of “cult-y” clubs. I have to admit, I have attended Younglife meetings in the past, and they are truly a great group of people. But some people claim that they brainwash you at camps, with people coming back saying it was “the best week of their life.”

“I don’t know a single person that has come and not loved Younglife so I think the ‘brainwashing’ claim that goes on is really just people having genuine fun that makes them want to keep coming back,” says avid Younglife-er Linsey Wenk.

  1. Swim and Dive (LSD)

Langley swimmers are truly a tight knit group of people. You can always see at least two members talking about the swim team at any given moment, seeing as the team is always together, even when it is not during school.

“I definitely think that it could be classified as a cult just because we have such a big team and everyone loves it so much so we make it a big deal. I would say people think we are a cult because everyone on swim team is so dedicated to the sport and into it since there are so many of us it can seem overpowering,” says Swim Captain Kendall Heebink.

  1. Crew

Everyone on crew is extremely close to each other, and love to share that fact. Due to the five-hour practices, it is quite obvious that they have sufficient time to become close to each other. And because of this ginormous time commitment, it is difficult for crew-ers to make time to make other friends.

  1. Model United Nations (MUN)

And last, but certainly not least, MUN makes the number one slot on my list. Everyone in MUN is friends with each other, and at some point date everyone in the club.  They can’t possibly spend whole weekend pretending to be a country, so who knows what goes on the rest of the time at those conferences.